Beginning.

He got home yesterday evening after being practically gone since Friday. He only came to change clothes on Saturday morning. I gave him a harsh speech about his behaviour, but it probably went through deaf ears. Oh well. I told him I will be gone one night soon as well to see how he's reacting, he shouldn't have any right to get angry at me since he is always gone. Anyway. I do have some plans, but I'm still not going to do like he does. 

I woke up with mixed feelings. Kind of tired, kind of anxious, kind of everything. Couldn't decide whether to write or not. But I kind of feel like writing too.

How we started. I told this first time in my Finnish blog and now I'm going to tell you the same. 

I had been put down with THE friend so I went to the shops, looked for a friend of ours with whom I had been talking quite a lot, and asked him to get me some diazepam. Meanwhile I went to buy a small bottle of vodka and a soft drink. I made a drink for myself, got my pills, took one of those too. I never believed that this would happened to me. It had never happened before but now it did.

I blacked out. I lost my memory. That friend had taken me home, he told I was just crying too much and I shouldn't be there in the public like that. But the first memory what I have is that he was on top of me and we had just finished having sex. Unprotected. I don't really remember how I felt at the moment, quite confused probably, but otherwise.

When he was about to leave I asked would he come back in the evening. He promised. And he came.

So started our relationship. The future wife without memory of how ending up like that and the future husband happy that he had gotten me. But the beginning was otherwise fine, he treated me well, came home to me, told me if he went to his brother's house where he had been staying that far. We cooked together, wanted to have a baby together (he knew that I had problems with that), went out together etc. We got married next year as I needed the marriage certificate for my residence permit. But I didn't especially look for someone to marry because of that, it just happened and if it hadn't, I would have found out another way.

And all was well for a while.

This is the cottage I lived at the time. 

Him and THE friend in a soccer game.

Him.

And the boys of course loved having me there.